Early this morning, I became aware of something called “The Lou Dobbs Financial Report,” which is syndicated on radio across the nation. My immediate reaction was to think to myself, “Asking for financial advice from Lou Dobbs is like asking…” I thought for a minute, and then it hit me: “for safety tips from Johnny Knoxville!” Then other comparisons came to mind, “like asking for etiquette lessons from Don Rickles” or “public speaking advice from Sylvester Stallone.” Yet there have got to be even better analogies — so I’m running a contest.
The submitter of the best entry in the comments section below (to be judged by a panel of CEI arbiters) wins a signed copy of Tim Carney’s The Big Ripoff: How Big Business and Big Government Steal Your Money, which provides a good antidote to Dobbs’s rampant economic illiteracy (which apparently was too great to be contained to one medium). So let’s get started: “Asking for financial advice from Lou Dobbs is like…”
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asking for parenting advice from Britney Spears.
Um, I believe you mean Lynne Spears, who really is behind the whole friggin’ mess.
…asking the EU how to reduce CO2 emissions.”
asking for fact-checking advice from the editors of The New Republic.
…asking Hugo Chavez why dont he just shut up.
Asking for pet care advice from Michael Vick.
… asking Pat Tillman for career advice.
…asking Phillip Agee to come to the U.S. to comment on how great Cuba’s state-run healthcare system works.
…asking Bill Clinton for tips to marital fidelity.
…asking Al Gore to practice the green measures he preaches.
…admiring Paris Hilton for her modesty and chastity.
…asking Martha Stewart for tips to successful investing.
…expecting The New York Times not to publish national security secrets.
asking Dubyah to help you pronunce nuclear.